love doesn't come to me..!

Love doesn't come to me.. How can I make myself love a person. He deserves it all.. He deserves much much more that he is getting.

I just make him feel guilty.. I dont love him back.. I just dont. I try.. I try many a times.. I try hard sometimes.. It works for a little while, sometimes.. But it goes away very quickly. I do try and setup my mind to love him.. I sometimes succeed but it is more of my mind than my heart. I dont catch myself really missing him very often.. I dont often catch myself thinking about him unless I am thinking about why I am not loving him and/or why did I fight with him, yet again, on such a small thing.. I find myself feeling guilty most of the times..

feeling sorry

I feel sorry for myself. He loves me so much.. and he loves me whole-heartedly. He loves me with his mind, body and soul... but I just dont love him back. It just doesnt come to me. I just end up picking on one thing or the other and I just dont feel satisfied. For no good reason, I dont feel fulfilled. I have everything in life anyone can ask for... I am so blessed. I do not understand why or how this could even be happening.. and happening to me. I have such a complete life.. but I do not get that click... that click when I see him.. when he is near me. I just feel irritated and itchy. Otherwise, I am fine. I laugh and joke about things.. I laugh often and I am generally a happy person.. I am just finee. I am thankful. But when it's me and him.. I dont know what happens.. I could only see the wrongs.. the little, minute, easily ignorable things.. and I, sometimes, hang on to them for so long. Why am I doing this.. Why? What is it that I want?

I feel sorry for myself.. I feel ashamed of myself.. I am guilty of not loving him back.. of not even starting to love him back in a possible effort to love him back even half as much as he loves me.. I dont get that feeling.. I dont get that tick.. It doesnt come to me.. How can I create love for him.. How do I make myself fall for him. I want to love him.. but it doesnt come to me.